Dreading Mother’s Day?

I’ve been there. I sat through 8 childless Mother’s Day church services after my first miscarriage.

Maybe you understand what it’s like when life goes off-script?

By year 8, I wanted to attend a new church for the day. I wanted to be anonymous, unsusceptible to the sympathetic looks and knowing glances of people who knew my heart was broken.

I had begged God to give me a child by Mother’s Day, but the answer for 8 years was no.

Here’s what I learned when Mother’s Day was hard.

These truths are for you, too—

1. I am not alone.

Not only do statistics about miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility reveal a lot of aching hearts (i.e., 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage), but the Bible bears witness to dozens of women who grieved the loss of/inability to have children.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). But a broken heart isn’t the same as an abandoned one. You are not alone. Not only is God with you, but you stand with a long line of strong women who have walked or are walking the same path.

It’s a lie from the Enemy that tells us we’re alone or are suffering a trial that is unique to us. Instead, God invites us to find our ultimate refuge and companionship in Him, and He is absolutely trustworthy.

As Moses told the people of Israel, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).

2. I am not in limbo.

In a culture that places a greater emphasis on what a person has accomplished rather than who a person is, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable when certain milestones are not met on an expected schedule.

But no matter what culture believes or communicates, your worth is not tied to any role or schedule. God’s opinion is the one that matters, and God does not distinguish between mothers and non-mothers in worth or worthiness.

Limbo is not a word in God’s vocabulary.

If you are walking in obedience, you are right where you belong.

Childless? Waiting? Grieving? God cares. Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'”

3. My story is not finished.

If God has not given you the desire of your heart yet, don’t assume it won’t happen.

On a stifling afternoon after experiencing 8 childless Mother’s Days, I sat on an open-air porch in Central Thailand and met my son for the first time. And from the moment I saw him, I was grateful God had not re-written my story when I begged Him to. Since that time, God has given me two more children to love, and my heart (and hands!) are full.

Ironically (or maybe not?), I had begged God to give me a son by Mother’s Day. I ended up spending my first full day as a mom with my son in Thailand on Thailand’s Mother’s Day.

(Among other things, I’ve learned to pray more specifically.)

On my last childless Mother’s Day, I wrote in my journal: God only and always chooses the best things for His children. When the best thing for my life is motherhood, I will accept the responsibility with joy. Until then, I’ll trust God with this.

If your heart is heavy this Mother’s Day, don’t give up. God is masterful at writing endings to our story that are far better than what we would have written for ourselves.

Here’s what I know for sure: God is trustworthy.

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