“How do I know if I’m supposed to adopt?”

As an adoptee and an adoptive mom, I hear questions about calling all the time.

These are good questions with complicated answers.

So here are 3 things to consider—

1. Adoption is good.

No, adopting a child is not a requirement for someone who loves Jesus any more than going to the mission field is a requirement for someone who loves the Great Commission, but caring for children in need is just as important as sharing the Gospel.

The Great Commission and the instruction to care for the fatherless are equally Scriptural.

Consider this: If you believe God might be calling you to adopt, you can safely assume the Enemy isn’t the one whispering Biblically-inspired suggestions in your ear.

I often encourage people who are unsure just to take the next step and see where it leads, recognizing that God can close that door at any point and it’ll be okay.

If you want to do God’s will, He won’t let you miss it.

2. Reasons matter.

Why would you adopt? Why would you not adopt?

If you want to adopt because you have baby fever or because it’s a really great act of charity, or because your friends are doing it, then not adopting is the right answer for now. On the other hand, if you can’t adopt right now because you have a full house and full hands and/or God has not prompted you in this way, not adopting is also the right answer for now.

And just so we’re clear, if God is not calling you to adopt, not adopting is a good decision. 

Obedience to God isn’t a burden. There are dozens of worthy things to do with your time and resources that God may not call you to do, and that is OK.

However. If you can’t stop thinking about adoption, and if your reasons for pursuing adoption are rooted in rich theology and love of God … then maybe you are supposed to say YES!

In that case, not adopting is not OK.

3. Caution is good.

Several years ago, when I first began working for Lifesong, I thought everybody should adopt. Like, why are people even still giving birth when they could adopt? (Not much of an exaggeration, sadly.)

Keep in mind, adoption very literally saved my life, and adopting/raising my son has been an extraordinary joy. So from my perspective and through the lens of my experience, adoption has only and always been the right and easy choice.

Through the years, however, I have met many wonderful, God-loving families around the world for whom adoption is not the right decision. God isn’t calling everyone to adopt.

Adoption is not just a great way to expand a family or even a good thing to do. It’s far more than that. It’s daily and persistent spiritual warfare—fighting for the hearts and lives of those whom the Enemy thought he had safely in his grasp.

It is countercultural, and it can be very challenging … but if God calls you to do it, it’ll also be the best decision you ever make.

So, is God calling you to adopt?

As we continue to welcome orphaned and abandoned children into our lives, homes, and churches, we show an orphaned world what it looks like to belong to God Who faithfully and selflessly welcomes the fatherless.

Adopting is a wonderful decision, but it isn’t the right decision for everybody.

As much as I’d like to, I can’t tell you whether or not to adopt—because you alone know your role in this mission—but by the grace of God, I pray you discover and obey it.

And I trust you know the Lifesong team is here to encourage you however God leads.

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