4 Idols Adoption Breaks Down
We often label them as reasons or excuses.
But the Bible uses a harsher term: idols.
As you evaluate your heart toward adoption (or any other big decision), you may discover aspects of your life that have become idols. But be encouraged. God doesn’t allow us to settle for anything less than him. Here are 4 idols He breaks down through adoption.
1. Comfort
I’m content with my family as it is. It’s uncomfortable to ask friends and family for help fundraising. I don’t handle conflict or trauma well.
Adoption is filled with uncomfortable situations and scenarios. But, as Francis Chan wrote in his book Crazy Love, “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”
Replace the idol of comfort with confidence that God knows your needs. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:23)
First-Hand Experience
Meet one family who learned to sacrifice their comfort for the sake of giving a child a home. God stirred their hearts toward adoption by using these words from Heather Avis: “I wonder how many times we, His children, choose a comfortable ‘no’ over a terrifying ‘yes’—the kind of ‘yes’ that leads us to the only place we should ever long to be: in the arms of Jesus.”
2. Predictability
What if our child has significant trauma that we won’t know how to deal with? What if we’re matched before we have our funds raised? I already have a plan for my family.
Our human nature demands routine and predictability. Even the most spontaneous of people have expectations they put their trust in. But God never guarantees us predictable lives that go according to our expectations. Rather, He calls us to trust in Him through all of life’s unknowns.
Replace the idol of predictability with trust that God is sovereign. “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)
First-Hand Experience
Meet one family who was matched with a child just two days after completing their home study. Though they weren’t close to having enough funds, they let go of the expectations they held, obeyed God, and said YES.
3. Self-Sufficiency
I don’t want to admit that we can’t afford this. I don’t want to have to ask for help.
Adoption is humbling on multiple levels, one of the most obvious being financial. Though 38% of families have considered adoption, only 5% have actually adopted. Why? The cost. But when families admit their shortcomings and ask for help, amazing things happen. The Church becomes co-laborers in the adoption, all taking part in the blessing of bringing a child home.
Replace the idol of self-sufficiency with the knowledge that you completely depend on God. “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
First-Hand Experience
Meet one family who gave up their self-sufficiency and experienced the blessing of relying on others throughout their adoption journey. They shared, “We knew there was no way on our own we could fund our adoption. Therefore, we knew we would be trusting God to provide.
4. Perfection
Adoption is messy. What if the process leaves our family drained and frayed? What if we end up worse than when we started?
Stepping into the unknown means opening ourselves up to the possibility of imperfection. If we can’t control the situation, how can we make sure it’ll go perfectly? The truth is, adoption is never perfect. Brokenness is at its core. But once we lay down the idol of perfection, we see that God brings beauty out of ashes.
Replace the idol of perfection with the realization that God often chooses to work through broken people and situations. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
First-Hand Experience
Meet a mom who struggled for months following her daughter’s adoption. It wasn’t the perfect adoption journey that is usually featured in blogs and videos, but it was perfectly God’s plan—an amazing display of beauty and brokenness.
May God give us the grace to name our idols, remove them from the throne of our hearts, and replace them with Him and His unfailing promises!